When Maha Al Musa became the face for Facebook’s enlightened policies around posting images of breastfeeding she was delighted.
Al Musa is a devoted mother and committed breastfeeder. She is currently breastfeeding her daughter, Ahmina and holds the distinction of being one of the world’s oldest nursing mothers. At 52 she is one of the few perimenopausal women breastfeeding in the world today.
“Sometimes it tastes like candy canes,” Ahmina, told Women’s Day. “It tastes like lots of different things.”
When asked when she thought she might stop Ahmina paused for a few minutes before concluding with “I might stop when I’m eight”.
“It’s my favourite thing to do when I’m not at school. More kids should because it’s good for you,”
Oh yeah, did I mention that her daughter is six-years-old? Shocked? Supportive? Disgusted? Ambivalent? Whichever knee-jerk reaction this is inspiring in you don’t worry ‘concerned’ parents the world over have taken to the Internet to express their opinion on this woman, a complete stranger who has nothing to do with them, and her choices.
Honestly, I don’t know where the Internet gets the energy. I just can’t seem to summon the will or time to care what other people are doing on their journey to raise their children. I’m too caught up with trying to be a decent parent myself.
I did once meet a girl who had been breastfed until she was six-years-old. Of course it was not solely for nourishment at that stage as she ate three meals a day but she told me it was like a comfort blanket. She found it very relaxing and enjoyable. I’m not sure that this is related to her start in life but she also happened to be one of the healthiest looking people I have ever encountered.
The benefits of extended or full-term nursing remain the same as initial breastfeeding. The milk still provides immunity and is an excellent source of essential fats, vitamins A, D, K and C.
Detractors have accused this mother and others like her of everything from attention seeking to child abuse. Grow up Internet.
When it comes to other people’s parenting strategies, I have adopted a phrase of Amy Poehler’s. Poehler, when writing about the culture of rampant judgement among parents, coined the phrase “good for her, not for me” which I think sums up exactly how we should treat each other as parents: respectfully and with a healthy amount of disinterest.
The American Academy of Family Pediatrics states that:
“As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer.”
I weaned my son when he was six-months-old, so I was curious about the experiences of a woman who nursed her child into toddlerhood and asked actress and mother to six-year-old Robin, Miriam Devitt to share some of her insight,
Prior to having Robin did you have an idea of how long you would like to breastfeed for?
I knew I wanted to breastfeed; it was very important to me. I was hoping to exclusively breastfeed for six months and then I think I was aiming for 12 months and willing to see how things were going from there.
Did you feel comfortable breastfeeding in public?
I first went out for lunch when Robin was eight days old. It was in my local pub in West Clare. I took a deep breath and whipped out the boob and fed her and I knew we’d be grand from then on.
Did you feel less comfortable breastfeeding in public the older Robin got?
Not really. It was so normal for us at that stage and mostly people didn’t even notice she was feeding, they just thought she was having a snuggle.
Did you encounter judgement around your breastfeeding experience?
I was ready for battle when I started breastfeeding – I’m the sort of person who would not shy away from confrontation when it comes to things I believe in. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find very little negativity around breastfeeding directed towards me. Now, I consciously surrounded myself with like-minded people; going to the local breastfeeding group and La Leche League every month. Sure, people project their own sh*t on to you, but that’s going to happen no matter what choices you make in life. I remember going to my regular breastfeeding group and the usual midwife who ran it was away. When I arrived the new midwife was giving out to a pregnant woman for eating Weetabix because it would “give you fierce constipation”. She looked at me and nearly got sick in her mouth when she realised I was nursing a 2-year-old. “Can she not drink from a cup?”, she shrieked. It made me laugh, but I was very, very glad I hadn’t met her when I was a fragile new mum.
How did you wind up weaning Robin? Was it a decision you made together?
It was definitely not her idea! The poor child, I’m pretty sure she would have kept breastfeeding until she was 5 or 6-years-old, in all seriousness. She was two years, seven months, two weeks and three days old when I last fed her. Yes, I know her exact age. And we were both a bit heartbroken. I just felt knackered and very skinny and there was a lot of change going on in my life at the time and something had to give. I think if things had been different I might have gone on another six months or so. Sometimes I feel guilty, but mostly I feel happy that we kept going for as long as we did.
How do you think it impacted on your relationship with Robin?
I think it had a hugely positive impact on my relationship with Robin. She was always a very snuggly baby and is still a very tactile child. She hated being put down so I carried her in a sling a lot and she could get “me-me” any time she wanted it. I think it has helped her to be a confident and securely attached little girl. I hope the closeness of our early relationship will be a strong foundation to weather the inevitable storms that will come over the years. So far, so good!
Susie O’Brien of Australia’s Daily Telegraph weighed in with her opinion piece titled: “Who does extreme breastfeeding really help: a child or their mum?” suggesting that:
“Rather than break down barriers, extreme breastfeeding has the opposite effect. It turns people off, and fuels the misconception that breastfeeding mothers lack the appropriate discretion for nursing in public. It’s a pity, because Australia’s breastfeeding rates are way lower than they should be.”
Tough break for Al Musa being burdened with an entire continent’s low breast feeding rate.
Internet repeat after me: Good for her, not for me. Good for her, not for me.
