The first time I was pregnant, a doctor wryly pointed out to me as I fretted and asked questions in the little office, “You know, pregnancy is not a medical condition.”
I laughed, and he succeeded in calming me down and managed to give me a bit of much-needed perspective on my situation. Since discovering I was pregnant, I had been acting a bit like there was something wrong with me, so it was nice to have a practical, non-hysterical voice among the cacophony of the Internet and pregnancy books telling me to avoid microwaves and luncheon meats.
Don’t get me wrong; medical advancements are a wonderful thing. We know more now than ever before about the development that takes place in the womb and how best to try to safeguard our unborn babies. But beyond making information available to expectant parents, there has to come point when women are allowed to make up their own minds about what is and isn’t okay for their pregnant selves.
At times being pregnant can feel a bit like being a piece of public property and incredible as it sounds, total strangers seem to feel entitled to pass comment on the behaviour of the heroic incubators lumbering among the population.
I have a radical proposal: Why don’t we all, when seeing a pregnant woman doing something that we, in our infinite wisdom, perhaps don’t think is a good idea, instead of pointing it out to her, remember that while she is gestating, she is still a free-thinking individual.
And that likely, her and her gestation also has nothing to do with us.
10 Times a Total Stranger Knew How to Gestate my Baby
1. “Should you be eating that?”
Over and over and over and over and over.
I am a grown-ass woman. Please stop lecturing me about soft eggs. If the pregnant person in your vicinity is doing something that you think is suspect just keep walking.
2. “I can’t believe you are still cycling.”
A woman I had never met before felt free to admonish me as I sat on my bike in the cycle lane at a set of traffic lights. She unfortunately didn’t give me a chance to tell her the story of my friend who ended up cycling to the hospital to give birth, which I’m sure she would have had some strong feelings about (sidenote: my friend did NOT cycle home.)
3. “Is it not bad for the baby that you are working so late in pregnancy?”
During my first pregnancy I still worked as a chef, which is a very physical and demanding job. Though still probably nothing compared with the physical labour women throughout history have managed to engage in throughout their pregnancies. Or the actual labour it would take to get the thing out.
4. “Are you DRINKING???”
I actually wasn’t drinking. I was holding a non-alcoholic beer, but as a pregnant woman all of my actions were opening to casual criticism. Natch.
5. “You’re really taking that ‘eating for two’ thing to heart I see.”
This comment was courtesy of a passing man as I sat in a café eating a sandwich at lunchtime. I sh*t you not.
6. “Is this an appropriate place for someone in your condition?”
No I hadn’t travelled back in time to the 1950s, I was standing at the back of a gig enjoying some music. Sometimes I think that the world would find it preferable if pregnant women were just placed into a state of suspended animation to keep us out of trouble for the duration of our gestation.
7. “Stress is bad for the baby.”
Telling someone they’re stressed is 100 percent proven to NOT reduce stress REMOTELY. So how about you leave our stress to us and stay the hell out of it?
8. “Do you know you have a big baby?”
This is just about the last thing a pregnant woman wants to hear. A) She is likely EXTREMELY sensitive about how she looks right now. And B) She does not want to be told by a randomer that her baby is jumbo, especially given the exit strategy that baby is likely to employ.
9. “I can’t believe that you are considering a home birth?”
“I can’t believe you are volunteering your opinion on MY birthing plans,” random person I’ve never spoken to before in my life.
10. “Should you be wearing that while pregnant?”
This one came from The Man and in fairness to him I was wearing a very tight playsuit which may or may not have been squeezing the baby.
Did you find yourself targeted by randomers with instructions on how best to gestate your baby when you were preggers?! Tell us in the comments…
